The passing of a freind, traditional Swazi funeral

We have been mourning the loss of a very dear friend this past week. Gugu Dlamini, 41 with 3 girls ages 14, 12 and 7. She passed to be with God due to complications from pneumonia, her lungs gave out, you see here in Swaziland ventilators are rare and that is what she needed. Gugu was the first Swazi friend we had, her smiling face would meet and never fail to greet us with a loud “ Don and D” (that is what she called us even if there was only one of us present). Here in Swaziland it is important that you greet everyone before you start any kind of business, this was rather hard for us because in the U.S. you may say hello and then go into a business conversation but here it is different. You spend time greeting and small talk for a little while before you conduct business. Gugu taught us to stop and take time to build a relationship from the heart. Gugu will be greatly missed.
We attended our first traditional Swazi wake (it is called a memorial). The memorial took place in a small church around 2PM in the afternoon. The coffin is placed horizontally in front of the pulpit (closed) and a woman stands on each side and at the foot. This service is typically 2-3 hours long so there are other women who come and switch out every so often. I was told this is to honor the person who has died. The flowers here are also different, they are what we call a “spray” but these are only about a foot long and are placed on the floor surrounding the coffin unlike our very large floral arrangements on stands. There is a lot of singing and a lot of speakers. Each speaker telling how and what that person meant in their life. The immediate family also speaks. ( All of this was performed in SiSwati language, with the exception of Gugu’s daughters). After the service the body is loaded into the funeral truck and taken several hours to the “homestead” ( these are the rural areas that each family has together) Then starts the all night vidual. Large makeshift tents are erected and the body is placed in one of the houses on the property. Family and friends come and help prepare a meal which will be served to the guest once the burial is finished. This continues all night with singing and some more speaking. We were asked if we would like to view the body, so we went into a small room, empty of furniture but full of women sitting all over the floor so much we had to step over several to get to the coffin at the far end of the room. There I was very surprised at the viewing. The entire body is shrouded by a white cloth stretched over the entire opening of the coffin with only the face appearing through a hole, no hair just face, there is no silhouette of the body, the entire opening is covered by a clear plastic shield so the body cannot be touched. This is very different from what I have been use to in the U.S. Just before sunrise (tradition because in the old days before roads people had to travel a long way to reach the burial site, so they would come early and all during the night ) the body is taken to the grave site (which has been dug by hand) located on the property, as everyone followed on foot down the mountain side. This grave is not a typical one for burial in Swaziland, the hole had been lined with cinder blocks to make what we would call a vault. Once the pastor completed his service the coffin is lowered into the grave, a blanket is put on the top and there are small logs cut the width of the grave that is placed over the coffin along with mats made from tall brown grass. Then the men are asked to take a shovel and each take turns’ shoveling the dirt into the grave while one stands and packs the dirt down. All this is taking place while the family sits and watches. There is more singing and more speaking from various people in the community. Once the grave is filled we all start the walk back up the mountain back to the homestead. By this time the sun has risen and it is around 8AM. Each one who attended the burial is given a plate of food to eat or to take on their travel back to their individual homes. It is hard for us to understand why the family watches all this being done seems like torture to us is their way of life now and has always been for the Swazi people.

I am happy to say that I am confident that Gugu is now resting in the arms of Jesus and I will see her smiling face again in Heaven.

Hopefully this gives you an insight into some of the culture here in Swaziland.

Thank you all for your continued support and prayers… God Bless you all..
Love Don & Diane